


No matter how many times I'm reborn, I'll fall in love with you again

by noctlis



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, brief angst, followed by tooth rotting fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 17:03:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20029288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noctlis/pseuds/noctlis
Summary: Usagi and Mamoru share a strange dream which leads to their lives becoming interwoven in a way they hadn't been before that fateful day. No one really questions it at first- something about it just feels... right.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing Sailor Moon fic!!!! Despite growing up with Sailor Moon and always being a huge moonie sdjkfdkfls I guess I just never had the right inspiration before but I've been rewatching the show with my twin and best friend lately and randomly got struck with this idea. This takes place sometime in the middle of the first season (post Makoto joining the group but before Minako shows up). I hadn't actually read the manga at the time I started writing this but now that I have, I would say I imagine this fic (especially the last chapter) as sort of like... a part that would fit in the anime to match up with the scene in the manga where Mamoru and Usagi have a talk in his apartment. Bottom line is I just need more fluff of these two because reincarnated soulmates will always be my jam and the anime never quite gave them enough soft moments together. Oh, and the title loosely comes from the song Happiemesis by Bigmama. Hope you enjoy this fic!!

It's a dream.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Usagi knows it is. Mamoru is even more certain.

Yet she's still terrified, her heart pounding so hard she feels like it will burst out of the confines of her chest, like there's nothing worth living for if this is all it amounted to. And he can't even fathom the emotions swirling inside him, a mass of fear, anger, anxiety, despair, all so overpowering that he doesn't even remember how to breathe. How had it come to this? How could he have allowed himself to fail in protecting her?

She's desperately trying to reach him, trying to grab hold of the vague figure of a man somewhere just past the ends of her fingertips, someone she knows she once knew, someone who was her whole world and more at one point. Farther, farther away he drifts, deeper and deeper into darkness. And he fights with all the strength left to him to find his way back to the girl who needs him, the girl he swore himself to… the girl he'll never stop loving. How can he leave her all alone like this?

Maybe she knew his name long ago. Maybe she still does. But she can't remember, and neither can he, grasping at nothing, in search of a long forgotten memory that will never resurface. It's all too much: a hurricane of disaster, pain and suffering, separation, and in the end… silence.

Deafening silence.

Usagi awakes with a start, trembling like a leaf, as if even the smallest breeze could send her tumbling into an abyss of unknown questions and irretrievable answers. She pats at her chest, tries to calm the hammering of her heart and gives a short, noncommittal laugh when Luna asks her if she's alright. "Of course," she says. "... Just a bad dream." But in the shadows of her room, Luna can't see the tears that form in the corners of Usagi's eyes, the tears she can't explain at a sense of loss she can't even begin to understand.

Meanwhile, Mamoru awakes to the weight of the world on his shoulders in an empty apartment that can do nothing, that can say nothing when he breaks down crying under it all. He hugs his knees to his chest and tries to drown out the sorrow he has no right to feel, the longing for something he never had. How could he miss what was never his to begin with? Foolishness in the face of loneliness and echoing solitude. His sobs bounce off the walls and fade away into the night, leaving only regret in their wake.

Neither Usagi or Mamoru manages to fall back to sleep before the morning finds them.

\---

Luna seems surprised when she stretches and opens her eyes to find Usagi awake already, sitting on the side of her bed while the clock beside her reads out 9AM. It's a whole three to four hours before Usagi usually gets up. Usagi watches the shock dance across her feline friend's face at the admittedly very rare occurrence, and sighs. "Oh," the cat says after a brief pause, her eyes wide. "It's a Saturday and you're not sleeping in, Usagi?"

Usagi shrugs. She doesn't really know how to say, "I had an awful dream that felt way too real and now I miss someone I don't even know and I have this weird feeling of anxiety and restlessness that won't go away," to her friend who most likely won't take her seriously- heck, even she's not sure what to make of this. So she says instead, "Just didn't feel like sleeping anymore."

"... That's news to me." Maybe Luna can read something in what Usagi doesn't say, with the way her eyes narrow slightly and she frowns just a little bit. "Did you have something planned for today?"

"Not really," Usagi says, shrugging again. It definitely wasn't plans that kept her from her precious beauty sleep. In fact, she doesn't feel like doing much of anything, now that she thinks about it. Not sleeping, not eating, not shopping or reading manga... A strange lethargy, she thinks with another sigh. "Maybe I'll just go down to the arcade."

Luna frowns even more. "Instead of studying for your test on Monday? Really, Usagi, is that such a good idea?"

Or maybe Luna's just being her good old pestering self, after all. Why would she ever care about how Usagi's really feeling? Usagi grimaces and covers her face with her hands. She already hates studying enough on any normal day, but today… She feels like she wouldn't be able to study even if she wanted to. Her heart keeps beating unevenly in her chest, leaving her with a sense of being on edge, though on what edge she has no clue. She just feels… unsettled. Like something's missing. "No studying," she finally grumbles, hands dropping to her sides. She stands from her bed and shuffles over to her closet, pulling out the first suitable outfit she finds, which ends up being a pink skirt and a baggy t-shirt with a rabbit design. She dresses slowly, all the while feeling Luna's piercing gaze on her.

"Usagi…" Luna says, softer than before. When she turns back around to face her bed, she notices that Luna's expression isn't quite so harsh- rather, there's something knowing there, something that catches her off guard. "Are you alright?"

It's the same question she had asked before, when Usagi woke up in the middle of the night. But this time, it feels like Luna means it. Usagi shakes a little, remembering the sensation of her dream, the overwhelming sadness that had seeped into every corner of her mind in the oddly familiar darkness that had surrounded her. Is she alright? Or is she losing her mind over something that isn't real?

"I… don't know," she says quietly.

As she grabs her bag off the floor and heads to the door of her room, Luna doesn't follow her.

\---

Usagi knows the way to the arcade like the back of her hand, and without even realizing she's already walked all the way there, she glances up to see the door just a few steps ahead. She's not sure how much time has passed, and she can't even remember what she had been thinking about on the way; though it probably doesn't matter. Just more spiraling into the depths of a dream she can't comprehend, and feelings she doesn't want to feel anymore. She breaks into a jog, hurrying to get inside and perhaps find some sense of normalcy.

But just when she reaches the door, instead of being able to open it, she crashes right into someone else who apparently got there first. Crash might not be the right word, but it feels like it is because Usagi stumbles a little and nearly loses her balance, if not for the strong hand that appears at her back, arms encircling her protectively while she reaches out and instinctively steadies herself against the firm chest in front of her. Even before she looks up, something sparks in Usagi's heart, a warmth that spreads outward, pumping through her veins into her entire body. A warmth that instantly seems to vanquish the shadows that lingered in her mind, erasing the feelings of anxiety that plagued her until only seconds ago. She feels… safe. Happy, even. When she finally does look up, she's met by familiar deep blue eyes and plush lips that upturn into the smallest of smiles, his brow creased ever so slightly as he gazes down at her. "Usagi," he says. Not the usual derisive nickname? A pleasant surprise. "Nice to see you so early in the day." No, instead, his voice envelops her like a soft blanket with each word, and she can't keep herself from leaning closer, pressing all her weight against him and resting her chin on his chest while she stares up at him.

"Mamoru," she returns. The taste of his name on her tongue is intoxicating, in a way it never has been before. She almost wants to say it again, and again, until it's the only words she remembers. A name that suddenly seems to hold so much meaning. "Nice to see you too," she says instead, her voice a low murmur.

They stand there like this for a few moments just looking into each other's eyes, unmoving, the entire world seemingly forgotten. "We should…" Mamoru eventually starts to say, his tone hard to read, though Usagi's sure there's some strong emotion there. "We should. Probably head inside. We're, uh. Blocking the door."

"Mm," she hums. But she doesn't move away from him- she can't- and the instant she feels him begin to move away from her, he seems to immediately change his mind. Rather, he shifts so that she can hook her arm in his and they're side by side, touching in every possible way. Then, completely in sync, they enter the arcade together.

Usagi can't begin to describe it, but suddenly, everything feels right again. She even manages a smiles at Motoki as she and Mamoru take their seats together on adjacent stools that they pull closer together so that her shoulder is right against his and their knees are touching. Motoki's eyes widen slightly at the sight of the pair, and then he smiles back before he approaches them.

"Good morning, early birds," he says warmly, an odd twinkle in his eyes. "It's not every day I get to see my two favorite visitors this early in the day."

"Morning," Usagi greets back, grinning while she leans over partially into Mamoru's lap. "Don't get used to it because this is probably a one time thing, ok?"

"Of course." Motoki gives a light laugh. The twinkle seems to grow stronger. "And you," he addresses Mamoru. "I thought you would be at the library right about now working on that paper that's due later this week."

Mamoru shrugs, the action a little stunted by Usagi's weight on him. "I thought about it. Keyword being 'thought.'"

Motoki laughs again. "Predictable," he says, raising an eyebrow in amusement. "Don't procrastinate for too long, though."

"Yeah, yeah. You don't have to tell me that." The more Mamoru talks, the more Usagi feels every last wrinkle smooth itself out in the fabric of her being, until the dream is just a faint tingle in the back of her mind, lost behind Mamoru's warmth, his voice, his smile and the comfort his presence brings her. It really does feel like a normal morning now, thank goodness.

Motoki chats a bit longer with Mamoru, and wishes Usagi a good weekend, and then he leaves them on their own, though not without a final glance back in their direction. Usagi almost wonders why he seems so interested in them but she drops that thought quickly before it's fully formed. "How do you get good grades if you procrastinate?" She asks Mamoru instead, intrigued by the little nuances of his features, the way his eyelashes flutter, the purse of his lips, the twitch of his eyebrows and the flicker of his pupils as he turns to look at her again. He seems entertained by her question.

"Hard work, I guess?" It comes out more of a question than a statement. Usagi gets the feeling that even Mamoru doesn't understand school all that much more than she does.

She sniffs, pouting a little. "But what if my hard work never amounts to anything?"

She half expects him to tease her like he always does, to laugh at her because she's nothing extraordinary in the end and she's got nowhere near the intelligence that he has- but he doesn't. She feels his hand on the top of her head, ruffling her hair gently, and her heartbeat begins pulsing in her chest, each beat like the flapping of butterfly wings under her ribcage. "If you want, I can help you study," he says.

"You…" She blinks at him, his warmth growing stronger, licking along her skin like soft flames. "You would help me?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

Somehow, the thought of studying with Mamoru makes studying just the slightest bit more appealing, which means a lot when it comes to Usagi. "... Thanks," she mumbles after a pause, gratitude settling as a rosy pink in her cheeks and the tips of her ears. She feels sort of like melting when he smiles at her.

They look into each other's eyes for a little while, and Usagi's a little light headed, a little lost in her thoughts by the time Mamoru speaks again, his voice pulling her out of her daydreams. She hadn't realized she had begun to picture something in her head, something vague and yet familiar, the scent of roses hovering around her even as she regains her focus.

"Aren't you going to play?" Mamoru asks her, eyeing the console in front of her that she realizes she hasn't even touched since they sat down. The Sailor V logo stares back at her and if she moved to slide a coin into the machine, she can imagine the game's theme song filling the air around her. She doesn't move though.

Her mind races for a moment, a mile a second, searching for an answer. When it comes down to it, she can't get herself to say her true thoughts, because, "I'm content just being with you right now," feels like too much. Too much, or maybe something she doesn't actually need to say. "Don't feel like it," is what she ends up replying.

Mamoru's smile is playful, almost teasing, but there's nothing harsh about it. All bickering between them seems to have disappeared with the shadows of her dream. "You're just full of surprises today, aren't you?" he says warmly.

Usagi finds herself thinking offhandedly that she might be able to get up early every day just to see that smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Luna has had an inkling that something is off about Usagi. It isn't necessarily something she can put into words; rather, it's observable in Usagi's body language, in her strange behavior and closed off responses. Usagi almost never wakes up early and yet on this day, Luna had awoken to find Usagi already up- and not just up, Luna can say definitively. She didn't have any of the telltale signs of having just woken up that Luna would usually associate with Usagi being awake at this hour. No, the lack of sleep in her eyes, the way she wasn't slumped over or clinging to her blankets like they were her lifeline… It all indicated that she had been awake for longer than she would probably tell Luna if she asked. And that makes Luna all the more concerned for her friend.

On top of that, Luna hadn't missed the strange distance in Usagi's gaze, as if her body may still be here in the present but her mind is far, far away in a time long past, in a different world that Luna can't even begin to fathom. Luna's small attempts to bring Usagi back down to earth had failed, and Luna had only been able to watch as Usagi escaped her room in a hurry, probably fleeing whatever negativity had clawed its way into her heart overnight.

Luna knows Usagi probably just needs some time to herself, and the kinks will work themselves out eventually as they always do in Usagi's ever simple mind.

But that doesn't stop her from hopping out Usagi's bedroom window as soon as she's sure Usagi is out of the house, and trailing behind the girl all the way to the arcade.

Usagi seems to have her head in the clouds even more so than she usually does. Luna watches in fascination while Usagi's feet carry her down the sidewalk at the same time Usagi's mind seems to be completely gone, like she's wholly on autopilot and isn't even fully aware that she's moving her feet at all. She doesn't trip or stumble like she normally would; she doesn't bump into any person or any poles; and by the time she's made it to Game Center Crown, Luna is almost mystified by how unscathed Usagi is. A total change from the clumsy routine of her daily life. Luna perches a far enough distance back that Usagi won't notice her (although it's not hard to imagine that in Usagi's current state, she probably wouldn't even notice if Luna was walking right behind her) and close enough that she can see and hear anything Usagi does or says.

In front of the arcade, Luna doesn't suspect anything. She watches Usagi, still mostly spaced out, as she starts to make her way to the entrance- and then suddenly everything shifts. 

It's the most bizarre sensation Luna thinks she's ever experienced, because it's simultaneously so pronounced and yet so subtle that Luna wouldn't have been able to put her paw on it if she hadn't been watching the event transpire in front of her, so seamless it's as if everything changed but nothing changed at all. Usagi is alone, and then she's not and it's none other than Chiba Mamoru holding the small girl in his arms, the two of them frozen in front of the arcade entrance as if lost in their own world.

Chiba Mamoru, the slightly stuck up older student who Luna has never seen get along well with Usagi in all the time she's known him. The sight of him would usually make her bristle, because she's been present on several occasions where the boy has said something cruel to Usagi, or teased her in a way that Luna would argue is only acceptable when she's the one doing the teasing. But instead she feels… perfectly normal. Chiba Mamoru, in the blink of an eye, feels like someone Luna can trust. A friend, she would say. Maybe something more.

He's holding Usagi and smiling, and Usagi is smiling too, and it really is strange how abruptly, almost palpably, everything falls into place. Luna is both baffled and amused somehow, like she maybe should have seen this coming from miles away- or perhaps not, but it somehow feels natural all the same. Everything seems to have led up to this moment. The inexplicable warmth that fills Luna up from head to tail as she witnesses Mamoru's gentle touch, the way they gaze into each other's eyes, the clear reluctance to part for anything even after realizing they're blocking off the door… There's a softness to the moment that doesn't break even as they readjust themselves and head inside at last.

It makes Luna feel like she doesn't have to worry about Usagi now. She's in good hands and somehow, Luna is absolutely certain that Mamoru will never do or say anything to hurt Usagi again.

She's perfectly content to leave the two of them on their own as she heads back to Usagi's room for a lazy saturday cat nap.


	3. Chapter 3

Mamoru had been used to being alone.

Second nature, almost. He had to be after the accident, after everything had been taken from him in the span of mere seconds- and then growing up without family and friends surrounding him and supporting him, it had become increasingly hard for Mamoru to make connections, or even to develop a consistent personality. After all, how can he really let anyone in if he doesn't even truly know who he is? He has told himself over and over that he doesn't need anyone, and he keeps up barriers no matter how close he might get to someone, always keeping them at a distance in case it ends the same as it always does. Because it always does and his "friends" usually become "acquaintances," and his "acquaintances" usually become "strangers" eventually. The only real thing Mamoru feels he has any talent for is failing to be a good friend, failing to act like a decent civilized person. Instead, there's a cage he must have surreptitiously built around his heart early on, one that no one can unlock because Mamoru had never given it a lock or key. The cage remains through the passing of time, and in the end, he has nothing, a startling amount of nothing that sometimes seems like it will suffocate him under its weight.

It doesn't help, of course, that Mamoru also has recurring dreams that leave him with such an overwhelming sense of urgency, a desire to protect and cherish, the silhouette of the softest, most graceful girl lingering beneath his eyelids every time he closes them. He doesn't know who she is or why she keeps appearing to him while he sleeps but he has a feeling she's important to him. Maybe more important than he can possibly imagine.

Sometimes she's asking something of him, something he has no idea how to accomplish, and sometimes she's not physically there, just a flicker of something deeper, the scent of roses, the flutter in Mamoru's chest as he tries to remember, as the scenes play through his mind until he wakes up. He half wonders if maybe he's dreaming about someone else's memories but he brushes the thought away with a self-deprecating smile. He can tell she knows him and he knows her; it's just a matter how and why, though he's not all that convinced that he'll ever find the answer.

So Mamoru had resigned himself to his fate, to a petty, unfulfilling existence that he's not even entirely sure is his own.

That is, until Usagi whirlwinds into his life like a blustering hurricane and suddenly nothing is the same and everything he had once known is lost to the destruction of a girl that is so positively radiant, cosmic and chaotic and brilliant, that Mamoru feels like he could drown in her light, even as it tears him apart at the seams. She pulls on him with a gravity that keeps him in her orbit and Mamoru finds himself absolutely mesmerized, so completely certain that he would do anything at all just for her acknowledgment, for her to see him, to notice him. 

It starts out as teasing, the hectic banter between them enough for Mamoru even if she hates him for the things he winds up saying to her, because he doesn't know what else to say, because he's never been good at this. As long as she looks at him with those crystal blue eyes, twinkling like the stars in the night sky, he doesn't really need anything else.

But even that changes, faster than he can blink.

He had dreamed again, of war and heartbreak and separation, and in the waking world, he had awoken with the strongest feeling of anxiety he can ever remember experiencing. Crushing him, clawing its way out of his chest until he couldn't bear it anymore and he had hurriedly left his apartment, searching for anything that might dull the feeling into something more manageable.

And then there had been Usagi again: vibrant, beautiful Usagi. The same way she always pops right up into his life just when he least expects her, as if something is subconsciously drawing them to each other. There's no way he can put it into words.

And this time… This time, Mamoru knows for sure, like he's never been more certain of anything else, that he needs Usagi in his life. Her presence washes away all his anxieties, all traces of fear and doubt from him, until the strange dream that plagued him is just a distant memory somewhere in the back of his head. She smiles up at him from her place in his arms, her warmth seeping to his very core, and suddenly nothing else matters but her. It's just a vague thought as he clings to her and they enter the arcade together, but it lingers all the same.

That perhaps it was Usagi that he missed all along. That she has always been what he needed.

But he won't think about it too much now. He doesn't have to when he's here with her and she's laughing, golden locks of hair shimmering around her gorgeous frame, her twinkling eyes locked on him. This is enough for him.

He finally feels at peace, for the first time in all that he can remember.


	4. Chapter 4

If anyone were to ever ask Rei about it, she would say unhesitatingly "absolutely not"- she never ever had feelings for Chiba Mamoru. And she feels like it wouldn't even be a lie, not really. 

A short lived crush, maybe. Nothing serious. In fact, it doesn't even matter at this point.

Certainly not with how things have been lately, anyway, she muses.

"Mamoru's been helping me study," Usagi is saying excitedly from her position where she's currently leaning halfway into Mamoru's lap, as if she's hardly even aware there's any difference between him and the booth seat beneath her. Rei watches the way she giggles, takes a sip of her milkshake and one of her hands absentmindedly comes up to cling to Mamoru's arm. As if it's just meant to be there and nowhere else.

Rei snorts. "Oh yeah?" She says, eyeing the two of them with a smirk. "And how's that going?"

Mamoru gives Usagi a bit of a withered look, but it's so full of affection that Rei has to resist the urge to gag. "It's a work in progress," Mamoru says, his tone seemingly torn between teasing and attempted encouragement. "But she'll… she'll get there eventually. I think."

Usagi's eyes are practically shining as she gazes up at Mamoru. "You really mean it? You really think I can get better grades soon?"

"Maybe. Just... keep doing your best and we'll see." Mamoru narrows his eyes and scrunches up his nose, and Usagi breaks into more giggles, a sound that spreads warm laughter all throughout their table. Even Rei can't keep herself from joining in, her own tries at teasing falling flat after Mamoru and Usagi's tender antics.

"Regardless, I'm incredibly proud of you, Usagi," Ami says, setting down her book on the table and giving Usagi and then Mamoru an earnest smile. "Truly, Mamoru-san, thank you so much for helping her."

"It's no problem," Mamoru replies with a sniff. "I mean, it's, uh. The least I can do." Rei watches him attempt to raise his hand to rub at the back of his neck sheepishly but when he realizes Usagi has a hold of him, he settles instead for just waving his hand in the air before he rests his hand over hers and gives her a light squeeze. The sight is oddly endearing, if Rei's totally honest.

"For real," Makoto agrees, amusement pulling her lips into a smile of her own. "Nothing we did ever seemed to get her studying more. You must be a saint."

Mamoru laughs again, and Rei notes that there's a slight blush on his cheeks, barely noticeable under the cafe lights, rosy color blooming under the surface. It almost makes Rei wonder just how much studying the two of them are really doing together, because when it comes to Usagi, that airhead will probably never be good at it in her life- and for as much as Rei trusts Mamoru, Mamoru seems to have a blatant weak spot for Usagi and that can only mean he's going to be way more lenient with her.

She sort of wants to tease them some more… She probably could get them to squirm, if she tried to, but she finds herself holding back for some reason. Just letting their group chat amiably in the quiet cafe.

It's really kind of strange, Rei thinks. Because this isn't what she remembers things used to be like. She remembers vividly the arguing between Mamoru and Usagi, the name calling and the general air of hostility every time they bumped into each other, which- now that she realizes it- was quite often. And very literal as Usagi had a way of throwing herself into Mamoru's personal space with reckless abandon. Running into him, tossing shoes and crumpled up papers into his head… It was really no wonder they didn't get along.

And yet, even stranger is that this doesn't seem strange at all. Somehow, Usagi and Mamoru together, the both of them laughing and smiling and holding each other like it's the most normal and natural thing… it really does feel right, Rei concedes. Sort of like this is how they were always meant to be instead.

In fact, she doesn't even think she could ask them about it even if she wanted to because she would have no idea what to say or how to bring it up. How does one ask about something that just… happens? Something that fits so seamlessly into their lives, as if there has never been anything else in all the time they've known each other? Maybe Rei is better off not questioning it and letting things play out like this.

After all… It feels nice. Brighter. More cheerful. Usagi seems happier than Rei can remember her being in recent times, and that happiness rubs off on all of them, leaving their group with a warm, contentedness that Rei is very much intent on not messing with. Not to mention, having Mamoru as a constant in their circle has also been nice, all things considered. He's funny, smart, carries conversation well- and he apparently knows how to put up with Usagi's shenanigans better than anyone else, which is a huge help when it comes down to it; the senshi themselves tend to let the blonde run a little wild, truth be told.

And there's almost something underneath it all that Rei can't quite place. A familiarity to this dynamic that seems bizarre given the sudden shift in Usagi and Mamoru's relationship, because if they've never been like this before, why would Rei be left with the feeling like she knows this somehow? Like a distant memory of something long, long ago, before Rei ever came to live on the planet Earth. She has no idea how to put into words, can barely even process the thought enough to fully consider it, but she thinks it's meaningful in some way, a premonition perhaps, of something she can't begin to understand yet.

So she won't ask them about it. She'll let herself bask in their happiness for now, because as long as Usagi is happy, Rei is too.

And of course, Rei would never think of encroaching on Usagi's happiness. So no, she never did fancy Mamoru, thanks for not asking.


	5. Chapter 5

Feelings are already hard for Usagi to understand, but this really is next level, she finds herself thinking. She's not even entirely sure what it is, let alone what it means- but it exists all the same and it's impossible for her to deny.

Put very simply, Usagi feels anxiety whenever she's not with Mamoru.

It's a kind of anxiety that's so specific- it's not the same as when she gets a bad grade and she's terrified to show her parents, or when she has to jump into a fight with a youma from the Dark Kingdom. She knows those feelings well at this point and she can deal with them on her own, even if it's hard. Rather, it's an anxiety that's soul shaking and lonely. Sometimes it's worse and sometimes it's not as bad, but it remains with her all the same no matter what else she does. At school, in her own bedroom, when she's hanging out with her friends or playing video games… She'll feel it quivering around in her chest, like a constant reminder of something she's long since forgotten.

It's so strange. Unlike anything else she's ever experienced.

Usagi would probably characterize herself as an anxious person overall, what with all she has on her plate between schoolwork and saving the world, but… this feeling is different. Like it comes from somewhere else entirely, and somehow found its way to Earth, to Usagi's home, to the small cavity of her chest. She can't really put her finger on it, pieces missing so the puzzle that's left behind is unsolvable, but she does know for certain that she hates it.

And she can maybe pinpoint its origin too, if she really thinks about it. After she had that weird dream that even now feels like it's a memory of something that truly happened and not something that her brain conjured up while she was sleeping… It hadn't been obvious at first, because what was one meeting, one day spent together that had Usagi feeling like she was on cloud nine and nothing could bring her down? No, it only became more obvious the more time she spent with Mamoru. Because as soon as they separated, the sinking sensation, the inexplicable worry would come bubbling right back up to the surface.

As frustrating as it is to constantly feel like she's on edge over nothing, Usagi at least takes comfort in knowing a solution for dealing with the discomfort. As long as she can be with Mamoru, as long as she can see him smiling and hear his sweet laughter, feel his warmth surrounding her… She can try to deal with the pain of being without him.

So she spends more and more time with Mamoru, as much as she can.

And Mamoru meets her halfway, of course.

He remembers the first instant that the idea had popped into his head. As she was heading home that first day, after they had spent hours and hours just chatting in the arcade and Mamoru had barely felt the time passing because all he cared about was Usagi, Usagi, Usagi- he had watched her retreating form and thought to himself, hands shaking a little, that he couldn't wait to see her again. Or rather that he needed to see her again.

There had been something buzzing under his skin, a growing sense of urgency, that seemed to seek out her presence, even after he knew she was long gone. A return of the anxiety he felt so keenly when he had first awoken that morning.

So Mamoru, too, decides this is what's best for him- for them. He and Usagi hang out more often, exchange numbers and talk on the phone, and spend as much time as possible together. And he thinks he must be right, because it's the same thing every time, like clockwork: all of his worries, all feelings of unease and nervousness disappear whenever Usagi is involved. Even just hearing her voice on the other end of the line fills his chest with an indescribable warmth, a warmth that only Usagi seems to bring to him. Truly like the sun, protecting him from the shadows that would lurk around him on his own.

He lets himself fall deeper and deeper. He sometimes plans his days around seeing her as much as possible, even from the moment he opens his eyes; and it works out best, he argues, if he comes to pick her up in the mornings, because thenhe gets to see her bright and early, and of course he can help her be on time to school.

"Usako!" 

The nickname slips out unbidden one morning, a greeting as he catches sight of her exiting her house and heading down the sidewalk toward him. He hadn't even thought about it as he said it, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, but now that he has, he feels a sudden wave of panic, an unwarranted fear that perhaps she would be mad at him or find it annoying that he's calling her something different and he would be back to square one.

But then she laughs, the sound like music to Mamoru's ears, tinkling and soft and sweet, and abruptly, every worry melts away just like that and leaves him with nothing but warmth. Like Usagi really is the sun shining down on him: blinding and beautiful.

"Mamo-chan," she greets back, jogging up to him with the brightest smile on her face. And he almost doesn't catch her own nickname for him, because it once again feels as if it's only natural, as if he had never been Mamoru-baka, or just plain Mamoru, or anything else before. But he does notice it and the way it sets off a chain reaction in his chest, his heart pounding like wildfire as he catches her in his arms the second she reaches him. "Good morning," she beams up at him. "And thanks for walking me to school."

As always, her exuberance is contagious. He can't help himself as he hugs her tight, drinking in her warmth, the sweet scent of her shampoo tickling his nose as he leans down to nuzzle the top of her head. "Of course. Anything for you," he replies.

There's something nagging in the back of his mind, a thought he tries not to think too hard while he walks beside Usagi, her hand grasped tightly in his. " _ Anything for my Usako," _ his brain corrects, chides him quietly.  _ You almost called her "your" Usako _ . He swallows hard and shakes his head a little to clear it. He's definitely not going down that rabbit hole today.


	6. Chapter 6

Makoto is sort of used to strange, at this point. She has always been a little strange herself- sometimes quiet, sometimes loud, sometimes alright on her own, sometimes seeking out human connection like it's the only way for her to survive. She's not a good people person deep down, and she usually has trouble making friends because she's so different: tall and strong for a girl, intimidating, not quite approachable or understandable.

And yet, Usagi's strangeness is something else entirely. 

Maybe that's why it had been so easy for her to befriend Usagi, for her to become a part of Usagi's crowd, Rei and Ami accepting her instantly with no questions asked. A place she finally feels like she belongs… All because Usagi, in all her strangeness, had looked right past the surface and had drawn Makoto to her, wrapping her up in her friendly warmth in a way that no one before her had ever done.

Usagi is the opposite of Makoto in some ways. Sure, she's clumsy and lazy, not to mention overly dramatic and she speaks her mind so freely, without any thought as to consequences. But more than that, she's so open and friendly, always smiling and shining on those around her with a light that's sure to win anyone over… Makoto definitely feels lucky to know her, incredibly blessed to have someone like Usagi in her life. Big, frightening Makoto found solace in the small ball of energy and sunlight that is Usagi.

And of course, nothing is ever surprising when it comes to Usagi. She has new ideas, new fancies weekly, constantly filling up her life with whatever makes her happy. She changes her mind a lot and she never seems to let anything get her down. Perhaps that's what makes it so contradictingly normal when Usagi and Mamoru suddenly become attached at the hip, like they've been together all their lives and not just a few days that turns into a few weeks.

Because it is sudden, and it's definitely a sharp contrast to their relationship before- the rocky back and forth of teasing, almost bullying that Makoto saw between them occasionally.

But somehow Makoto can't even get herself to question it. It reminds her of the way she used to feel around the boy who broke her heart, like everything was soft and beautiful and blossoming with tender affection… Though, she quickly amends in her mind that this clearly isn't the same because she can't possibly imagine Mamoru breaking Usagi's heart in the slightest. But if someone asked her how she's so certain, she isn't totally sure how she would answer them.

Intuition, maybe. Or maybe it's something about that soft look in Mamoru's eyes that's reserved solely for Usagi, a fondness Makoto used to think was something only found in movies and shoujo manga. Or maybe it's the way Usagi smiles at Mamoru, her entire aura brightening around her like the sun first thing in the morning just by being in his presence. They're disgustingly cute, the way they cling to each other, like personal space isn't a thing, and Mamoru's hands are stroking Usagi's hair or Usagi's tracing a finger absentmindedly on Mamoru's chest while she talks about a comic she read recently, or the movie she and Mamoru saw the other day. Truly inseparable, in every sense of the word.

"Mamo-chan," Usagi says, with all the pride in the world accumulated in her tone as the group enjoys their quiet picnic in the park. "is the best at everything. Did you know he's the top of his class?"

_ Mamo-chan?  _ Makoto would probably laugh at the nickname if it didn't sound so right coming from Usagi's mouth, and if she didn't have a mouthful of one of the fruit tarts she had made earlier and brought with her for their picnic.

"Really?" Ami asks, but she doesn't actually seem all that surprised at the information. And it makes sense, honestly. Mamoru has always struck Makoto as the studious type.

Mamoru laughs, a bit sheepishly. "C'mon, Usako, don't exaggerate."

This time Makoto feels an odd warmth fill her chest. They even have disgustingly cute nicknames for each other. Go figure. And it's totally natural, too, like they've always called each other this way instead of any of the childish insults they used to sometimes spout at each other. Makoto has half a mind to ask herself why that is, but deep down she feels like she should know the answer to her own question, like there's some knowledge just beneath the surface of her memories that would explain it all in an instant.

Rei rolls her eyes. "Yeah, Usagi. You don't have to brag about his achievements. We all know he's light years ahead of you."

"Hey!" Usagi quips back, frowning at Rei intently. "I'll have you know that I got a score of at least five points higher on our recent test as compared to the test before that one." Everyone bursts into laughter at her response, even Usagi herself. Yes, so warm, Makoto thinks.

"Hey, so have you guys seen the trailer for that new rom com? We should all totally go see it together." Usagi sprawls out on their picnic blanket, her head finding a resting spot in Mamoru's lap, her long pigtails draped over his legs like they belong there. 

This day had been intended as a Senshi meetup for them to discuss what they thought the Dark Kingdom would likely try next, but when Usagi had shown up with Mamoru at her side, somehow no one had seemed surprised or bothered and their group had just exchanged knowing looks, instead devolving into pleasant conversation. It may not be productive, but all the same, Makoto can't bring herself to mind. Not when Usagi is clearly so happy and her happiness means all the rest of them are happy too.

"Oh, yeah! I've really been wanting to see that," Rei says excitedly. "How about Sunday?"

"Count me in," Makoto readily agrees. She laughs when Usagi pumps a fist in the air, clearly pleased with their plans.

"Mamo-chan, you'll come too, right?"

Mamoru's eyes twinkle as he gazes down at Usagi. "Of course," he replies. Makoto sort of wishes she could pick apart what's hidden there, unspoken words and unreadable emotions in the depths of Mamoru's pupils, something that's clearly only meant for Usagi and yet remains as obvious as day to any who see them together.

Usagi beams back up at him. "That movie will be ten times better with you there."

"Are you sure it's the movie that will be better?" Rei's comment doesn't get an answer, though Makoto doesn't miss the look that Rei and Ami share afterward. Apparently their group is getting really good at communicating without talking.

Yes, a strange group they make, for sure. But really, Makoto wouldn't have it any other way.


	7. Chapter 7

Usagi really wishes she wasn't so clumsy. 

Sure it's something she thinks about a lot- after all, it's always causing problems for her- but she feels it very keenly tonight. At least if she could stay on her feet, if she could stop flopping all over and losing her balance constantly, she might have a higher chance of effectively dealing with the youma in front of her.

It's the first one they've encountered in a while- which explains why they're having so much trouble with it: their attacks keep missing, Usagi keeps just barely dodging the balls of energy the enemy's shooting at her and the senshi, and it's taking them far longer than it usually would to defeat it. What a mess, Usagi thinks bitterly. If this is where they're at right now, then they're definitely screwed when it comes to dealing with the Dark Kingdom at large.

It also doesn't help that the inexplicable anxiety she should be used to experiencing by now is particularly bad on this night, her heart twisting in her chest like it wants to break free and go find Mamoru without her. She's done her best to ignore it, but it's hard when she keeps losing her focus, her nerves peaking and hands shaking even as she tries to keep them steady. Isn't she useless like this? How is she supposed to accomplish anything when all she wants is to hurtle head first into Mamoru's arms?

That of course makes her feel worse that she can't do anything as Rei suffers a blow from a well aimed energy ball, sending her friend sprawling onto the ground in seconds. "Sailor Mars!" She cries out, immediately rushing over to her friend. This is her fault, isn't it? Because she was so incompetent already and now she's even worse. However, she doesn't make it to Rei before she hears Ami's voice echoing out.

"Sailor Moon, watch out!"

The next moments seem to happen in slow motion. Usagi stops and turns toward the youma, noticing all too late that an attack has been thrown straight at her. She doesn't have time to dodge; she can't even move, frozen to the spot as she watches in wide-eyed terror at the impending doom soaring right at it.

She jams her eyes shut, waiting for the impact- but it never comes. Instead, Usagi suddenly feels arms around her and a floating sensation as she's lifted into the air. But more so than that, something else immediately flows through her veins in strong waves. She knows this feeling...

Upon opening her eyes, she sees exactly who she expects to see: Tuxedo Kamen, who had appeared at the last second to snatch her out of harm's way just as he always does. Except this time, he has told Usagi more with his touch alone than he's ever put into words. 

Usagi is smiling before she can even think to stop herself, warmth almost seeming to explode outward from her chest and into the rest of her body. "It's you," she says quietly, a statement and not a question. The anxiety is already miles behind, probably left solidly in the spot Usagi had stood before Tuxedo Mask swooped in to her rescue in more ways than one.

And Tuxedo Kamen is blinking at her, his eyes wide in surprise before he smiles back, such a blindingly beautiful smile that Usagi almost feels like melting. "Usako…" He whispers back, his arms around her abruptly feeling more gentle than they've ever felt before. So warm, that Usagi has to wonder at the marvel of their situation. Of all the people in the world, it just happened to be him… Perhaps Usagi isn't quite as unlucky as she had previously thought. And if her clumsiness means that he'll be here beside her even in battle, then maybe it's not all that bad in the end.

Mamoru sets Usagi down on the ground and with renewed vigor, Usagi finds her footing, her tiara gripped in her hand as quickly as she can grab it from her forehead. "Moon Tiara Action!" She shouts. Her tiara sparkles through the air, hitting its target with ease and the youma fades away, leaving nothing but dust behind.

Usagi hops up and down excitedly at her success, adrenaline pumping through her bloodstream, and she hears the other senshi cheering from somewhere behind her, but nothing else matters to her. Before she can stop herself, she's leaping into Mamoru's arms again, almost knocking him over in her enthusiasm.

Mamoru laughs as he catches her, the sound enveloping Usagi in a soothing warmth that seems to bring her down from the high of battle, the same way he always chases away the shadows around her. "Amazing as always, Sailor Moon," he says, his voice suddenly so recognizable that Usagi can't believe she never realized before now. Had it always been this obvious?

"Thank you, Tuxedo Kamen," she replies, burying her face into Mamoru's chest, feeling his strong arms around her, and the accompanying sense of safeness that floods through her. "For now, and always," she adds with a giggle, nuzzling against him.

Mamoru laughs again and Usagi thinks she never wants to hear anything else.

But she does, of course. A teasing voice from behind.

"Well, aren't you two suddenly very close." Usagi whips around to find Rei smirking at her, and Ami and Makoto exchanging knowing looks. They've probably already grasped just exactly what happened in the short time it took Usagi to defeat the youma- which Usagi realizes probably makes sense with how she reacted to Tuxedo Kamen. She sticks her tongue out, giving Rei a sneer as she clings tighter to Mamoru.

"You're just jealous that I get to hug Tuxedo Kamen," she shoots back.

Rei narrows her eyes, but she's smiling. "Oh yeah? I'm pretty sure I could hug Tuxedo Kamen if I wanted to."

Usagi gasps in mock offense. "You wouldn't..!"

"You bet I would!" Rei's laughing now, and pretty soon, Usagi joins her, her heart feeling full to bursting, so warm and content. She won the fight, Mamoru is holding her close, and she's laughing with her friends.

This night definitely got monumentally better, she thinks. Maybe she wouldn't mind if it lasted forever. And with the way Mamoru is gazing down at her, with all the affection in the world, she thinks he must feel the same.


	8. Chapter 8

Ami would say she's good at noticing things. She sort of has to be, with how much time she spends studying and memorizing all the information she can so she can accomplish all of her goals and be the best she can be. At first it had been purely because she thought that was all she had: her intelligence on its own, and the only thing she was good for. But she knows better now, using everything at her disposal so she can help her friends and live the kind of life she wants most.

And it works out best if she pays close attention to everything really. She notices when her friends are having a hard time, or when they need her help with something; she notices when they've been studying for too long and they need a break to relax their minds; she notices when tensions are high and low, and she's long since learned how to read her friends' emotions, as well as their surroundings so she knows when they're in danger. She might not always show it because she usually focuses on school and her textbooks, but Ami's top priority is and always will be her friends, so being someone who can support and mediate for them, who can think for them when they can't think for themselves, and who can help give them all her love in the only way she knows how… That is what matters most to her.

So of course, over the past several weeks, how could she not notice the changes as well?

Subtle and yet so glaringly obvious that she knows she can't be the only one who noticed. After all, hadn't Usagi and Mamoru originally been infamous for bickering and arguing with each other? 

Maybe it had been a front- in fact, now that Ami thinks about it, that would be only logical. If there was something going on beneath the surface, if they were hiding their true feelings, then maybe that would serve to explain the initial unnecessary hostility. But the fact of the matter is, that doesn't even come close to their present dynamic anymore. Ami's not sure exactly what started it, let alone the how or the why, but one day everything was still the same and the next it all seemed to shift into something completely different, like the very air around them was bending to some unforeseen will of fate. But somehow that fate seemed to be just what was intended for them all along, because something about their closeness makes it seem like nothing at all has changed, even despite clear memory of the contrary.

Ami wonders if there's some scientific explanation for it, that would make sense of why Usagi and Mamoru suddenly seem to revolve around each other like they're the earth and the moon and why it feels absolutely as if this is the way things are supposed to be, but of course, there's no discernible answer there, no matter how hard she thinks about it. Not like she would actually expect one- after all, when it comes to Usagi, she's realized there sometimes just isn't any logic involved. Sometimes it's just feeling, especially when that feeling seems to be a pure elation that is tied simply to Mamoru's presence.

Another thing Ami definitely notices is that everyone is specifically avoiding talking about it. Not just Usagi and Mamoru, but even Rei and Makoto, and Luna too. Their group seems to be tiptoeing around stating the obvious, as if somehow that changes the facts or makes it any less strange. 

At least, she can almost understand on some level there, because she senses it too, the way that everything feels so natural and so right now that Usagi and Mamoru are.. whatever it is they are. It's weird, but Ami even catches herself thinking on more than one occasion that it's familiar, like she remembers this, though she can't quite place why that is.

That, of course, doesn't change her mind, however.

Communication is key in every kind of relationship and the longer they don't talk about this, the more it will build up until it explodes into something else entirely. Perhaps Ami can help it along a little bit, if no one else wants to.

She'll ask the question that every single one of them has been avoiding all this time. 

She glances between Usagi, hearts in her friend's eyes as she gazes at Mamoru beside her, clearly focusing on him rather than studying- and Mamoru, who seems to have long forgotten about his own work, his textbook in front of him ignored while he leans closer to Usagi and his arm drapes over her shoulders. And she smiles to herself, feeling bizarrely pleased with how she's about to disrupt this peaceful atmosphere in a very specific way.

Even before she has opened her mouth, the words are already formed on her tongue, spilling out with ease when she speaks. "Are you two dating?" She asks simply.

Everyone around her freezes. Rei and Makoto are so stock still it's a wonder they aren't statues. Mamoru blinks wide eyed at her and Usagi seems to choke on nothing, her face flushing while she pats at her chest and coughs hard.

"I'm sorry… What?" Mamoru says.


	9. Chapter 9

A tense silence swallows up the table in the cafe. 

Mamoru feels like his breath is caught somewhere between his throat and his lungs and his heart feels awkward in his chest, like it's forgotten how to beat properly. Every cell in his body seems to be working over time, producing more and more heat until he feels like he can't handle it anymore. And yet Ami's words hang heavy in the air, almost palpable, and it doesn't seem like he would be able to escape them even if he tried.

"Are you two dating?"

A simple question that somehow is anything but simple, that buzzes around Mamoru's head until everything is fuzzy at the edges and Mamoru feels like the world is spinning around him while he's just standing still. He's been trying so hard not to think about it, even subconsciously: pushing all logic and all reasoning to the back of his mind because none of it really seemed to matter as long as he had Usagi. But if it's come to this… how is he supposed to avoid it now? How is he supposed to pretend he doesn't know exactly how he feels?

Usagi clears her throat, breaking the silence after a few moments. Her voice is high pitched when she speaks, sounding louder after the quiet than she would otherwise, and when Mamoru finally gathers the courage to look at her, he sees that she's bright red like a tomato next to him. "Mamo-chan and I, you know, we're just… Uh… That is to say, we're… Um. "

She's just as much at a loss as he is. There's some amount of comfort in that, but just as much of something else, something that bubbles up in Mamoru's chest and fills him with a strange sense of resolve. Perhaps… It might be time they cleared this up. Put a name to it.

Mamoru knows all eyes are on him as he abruptly stands from the table but he doesn't bother to meet their gazes- instead, his eyes are only on Usagi, who gazes up at him as well, surprise and confusion reflected in her glittering pupils.

"Usako, there's something I want to talk to you about. Come with me?" He frames it as a question, even after making his decision, because regardless of how he feels, he knows she still deserves a choice. But she reacts just as instantly, sliding out of the booth and immediately following him so he thinks to himself that maybe both of their minds are made up at this point. It makes sense, in a way, with how close they've grown over these past few weeks, that they would fall into sync like this.

"I'll, uh. See you guys later," Usagi says as a goodbye to her friends. And then Mamoru leads her outside.

The walk to his apartment isn't too long thankfully, but it feels a bit longer because Mamoru is trying to give Usagi some space, ignoring the overwhelming urge to grab Usagi's hand while they walk. It's important, he tries to reason with himself, to not be too forward while they figure this out. Because even if he knows exactly how he feels, he doesn't know just what her feelings are yet. He hopes- and he thinks it might not be a stretch to assume she feels the same- but he won't decide for her. Usagi can tell him herself, in her own words.

When Mamoru catches sight of his apartment building down the sidewalk, a sense of relief floods through him and he knows for sure that he's ready to settle this. No backing out now.

He takes Usagi up to his floor and unlocks the door, holding it open for her. He's still trying to be restrained in his thoughts, but at the same time, seeing her in his doorway, seeing her taking off her shoes and shuffling her way into his apartment… It fills his heart with a warmth so indescribable and potent that Mamoru has to pause and stand with his hand over his heart for a few seconds.  _ She's home here, _ his brain rattles before he can stop it.  _ She belongs here. _

Hands trembling a bit, he steps in and shows Usagi to the dining room table, letting her take a seat as he makes a quick stop in the kitchen to prepare some tea for them. Then he returns, sets the tea down on opposite sides for them, and takes his own seat, folding his arms on the table top. Usagi blinks at the tea and then back at him. She's waiting for him, he realizes. So he swallows hard, takes a deep breath, and finds his words.

"Are we?" Mamoru asks.

Usagi startles at the question, an adorable shade of pink dancing across her face. "Are we what?" She returns, though he's sure she knows what he meant and she's just stalling while she works through her thoughts and feelings. She picks up her tea cup and sips at it absentmindedly.

"Dating," he fills in. He's unsurprised when the pink grows darker, rosy hues blooming across her face, and she sets her cup down to fiddle with her sleeves, her hands dropping to clasp in her lap.

"I, um," she says eloquently. She's so flustered, so bright, eyes shining, lips parted ever so slightly while she figures out her next words, that Mamoru has to physically hold himself back from climbing over the table and pulling her into his arms. Maybe kissing her senseless. Instead he clears his throat and waits for her to continue.

"I didn't ever… really stop to think about. This." Usagi gestures between them, a high pitched, nervous laugh escaping her. "I guess it just… felt so right. I didn't really think I needed to. To think about it, I mean."

Mamoru nods, hoping to encourage her to keep going. It's both odd and not odd at all to hear her voicing almost the exact same thoughts he's been having all this time.

But Usagi just falls quiet again, like she can't find the words to speak her mind. There's something so endearing about it, about her huff of silence and the way she keeps poking at her tea cup while she works through her intense emotions, that Mamoru feels acutely, even despite himself. Usagi always feels everything so strongly, because everything is equally important to her and she really cares that much; it's one of the many things Mamoru likes about her… Rather, one of the many things he  _ loves _ about her. He can say that now, he realizes.

She doesn't have to do this alone, of course.

"Let's get a few things straight," Mamoru offers as a starting place, and Usagi seems exceedingly grateful for him taking the lead, relief softening her features. "You're Sailor Moon." A fact he's certain of at this point, with the several times they've fought side by side recently.

"And you're Tuxedo Kamen," she says warmly. It's the first time they're actually saying it out loud since the first battle where they inadvertently discovered their identities, and it somehow feels… right. Like taking a weight off Mamoru's shoulders. He's glad he didn't have to up front tell Usagi his secret, and that she just so happened to be Sailor Moon, as if it really is fate that brought them together. For Usagi to be the one he always sought out to protect, without even knowing it at first… Yes, fate indeed, Mamoru thinks. Usagi gives him the smallest of smiles, her cheeks rosy again. 

"I was… really happy when I found out that you and Tuxedo Kamen are the same person," she says. Her eyes glance up to meet his, and then flit away again, her skin flushing even more. This time, Mamoru really can't stop himself.

He stands from where he had been seated, his movement catching Usagi's attention, and she watches him curiously as he moves around to the other side, until he's right beside her. Then he sits down again, opening his arms and gesturing to her. It takes her all of a single second to understand what he means, but then she does and her eyes shine as she immediately thrusts herself into his arms, her face buried into his chest, her own arms wrapping around him as quickly as she can manage. Mamoru's heart pounds in his chest, pulsing warmth outward, spreading it into every inch of his body, and he leans down, nuzzling against the top of Usagi's head. This is much better, he concedes, with Usagi right where she belongs. He never should have hesitated.

"Usako…" He says softly, her hum of acknowledgement buzzing around his heart as her grip around him tightens. "Why did it make you so happy to know that I was Tuxedo Kamen?"

"That…" Usagi pauses. Mamoru can feel her tracing circles under his shoulder blades while she considers her answer. "It's because… If you're Tuxedo Kamen, then I only ever… That is to say, it was only ever you that I…" She's still struggling, but Mamoru is sure they'll get there eventually. "I mean, I felt weird. Without you. So when you showed up, even at those times when I was Sailor Moon..."

"Weird?" Something throbs in Mamoru's chest, something oddly familiar. "What do you mean by that?"

Usagi shifts so she can look up at him. Her eyes are wide and full of swirling emotions… Beautiful and crystal clear. Mamoru could lose himself in their depths if he stared for long enough, he's quite sure. "It's so hard to explain but… Lately, whenever we aren't together, everything feels wrong. I get so anxious, I don't even know what to do with myself."

There it is. The throb returns, stronger, and Mamoru leans down so that he can press his forehead to Usagi's, his nose brushing hers lightly. Her breath is warm against his cheek, reassuring and grounding while his heartbeat whips up a storm under his ribcage.

"I know that feeling," he whispers. "I have it too, whenever I'm not with you."

"You too?" She gasps a little, leaning just the slightest bit closer. So close that if Mamoru turned his head a small amount, he would be able to capture her lips with his own. He swallows and nods instead, focusing on Usagi's warmth so he doesn't lose himself to the intoxicating desire.

"It's why I've been making so much time for you, Usako. When I'm with you… Everything else melts away. You make everything better."

At that Usagi flusters again. She tilts her head down, her cheeks red and heated while she buries her face against Mamoru's neck and her hands cling to the fabric of his shirt.

"Y-You do, too," she returns quietly, her voice soft and muffled against his skin, the vibrations rumbling through Mamoru's chest like an electric shock. He holds her tighter, closer against him. "Especially after that dream…"

_ Oh. _

Mamoru feels himself shaking a bit, his heart skipping a beat as he leans down to press his cheek to the top of Usagi's head. "'That dream'…?" He repeats after her, even though he's almost certain he already knows what she means. How could he not, when that dream in specific had been the very crux of everything?

Usagi hums again, soft and small. "It was a few weeks ago. I've had a few similar dreams before and since then but that one… It just felt so…"

"Real," Mamoru finishes for her.

Usagi nods hard, relaxing her grip on Mamoru just enough that she can rest all of her weight against him. "Yeah. More real than any of the previous dreams. It was like, instead of just being a dream, I was remembering something that actually happened to me."

"I know that feeling well," Mamoru says quietly. "And I… I think we might have had the same dream that night."

"Really?" Usagi seems both surprised and not, and Mamoru has to wonder if perhaps even these circumstances are so entirely suited to then that it's almost common place. "The night before that day we met up in front of the arcade?"

"The night the anxiety started."

"I can't believe it…" Usagi shifts to look up at him with her crystal blue eyes again, her gaze tender and sweet, enough to make Mamoru feel like melting. "No, that's not it. I can believe it, it's just really weird, you know?" She opens and closes her mouth a few times, trying to decide how to ask her question before she settles on, "Doesn't it feel like… we're connected by a red string of fate?"

"Like we were meant for each other even before we met?"

"And everything before now was just leading up to this moment, just so that we could be together?"

"Exactly like that…"

Mamoru feels weirdly like laughing and crying, like all the puzzle pieces in the world have fallen into place here and now. It really does feel like he was waiting all his life just to meet Usagi, just to be with her. Like she fills in everything that used to be missing, and if he just stays with her, everything will eventually make sense and he'll find all the answers to the unanswered questions.

"I think I loved you once, in a past life," Usagi says, so quietly Mamoru might not have heard her if she wasn't the only thing in the world he cares about in this moment.

"And now?" he says, just as quietly, his heart feeling as if it will burst out of his chest.

Usagi pauses for only a moment. "... I think I love you again," she says. "I think I'll always love you."

That's all Mamoru needs to hear to make up his mind, to stop holding back entirely. In an instant, he's resting a hand under Usagi's chin and lifting her face up toward him, leaning down until he can capture her lips with his own.

The kiss feels like a fire underneath his skin, the flames spreading from Mamoru's heart outward into his limbs, enveloping him in the strongest sensation of warmth and passion that he's ever felt. Usagi responds readily, her small form clinging to him, leaning in closer, as if the two of them just can't be close enough, and he feels one of her hands on the back of his neck, her fingers brushing between the ends of his hair. The motion sends shivers down his spine and he arches into her touch, heat pooling with every brush of her skin against his own. His free hand that isn't cupping Usagi's face snakes around her waist, and he almost loses his balance under her enthusiasm, his entire body reacting to her, thinly veiled desire to lose himself in her and in this moment somewhere just beneath the surface.

"I love you, Usako," he whispers against her lips, aware that even this feels so right, the same way that everything else about Usagi makes him feel. Complete and whole, no lingering doubts or worries… just love. She's his princess and he'll always be her prince, in every timeline, in every dream and every memory, whether they truly remember or not. This is definitely what Mamoru was missing- he knows now for certain- and what he'll hold onto it with all of his strength from now on; he'll never let go of Usagi again, not for anything in the world.

"I love you too, Mamoru," she replies warmly, softly. He feels her smiling against his mouth, tastes the sunshine on her tongue and the stardust on her lips. She's an entire galaxy surrounding him, the universe moving to align just for them, for a love that spans time and space, that led Mamoru and Usagi to each other against all odds. A destined love that can never be stopped or changed.

He may not have all the answers just yet- about his dreams and the silver crystal and why he and Usagi have been given powers as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen- and he knows that they still have a long way to go to stop the Dark Kingdom from plunging the world into darkness… But he's certain that they'll be fine in the end. They have each other.

And with Usagi here in his arms, her lips against his, her warmth stronger and brighter than all the darkness in the world… Mamoru feels that their love will overcome everything.


End file.
